Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It is what it is...

Life can be a cool customer sometimes. It's amazing how we can be up one minute and down the next. Monday might be a great day, filled with sunshine, a couple of nice compliments from clients, and that yummy noodle-casserole-thingy my wife makes. Then, on Tuesday, severe storms with quarter-sized hail, an email about a potential format-change, and a grilled cheese sandwich because Matt forgot to go to the store. I know this must sound a little like an Ellen Pompeo-voiceover at the start of a Grey's Anatomy episode, but the ebb-and-flow, the yin and yang, of the day-to-day is sometimes a bit overwhelming.

We scored a couple of nice victories over the past week. First, we secured a new station in Dallas, as KDBN-FM switched to a AAA-ish feel with their "Quality Rock" format. Later in the day, I discovered that the HTML class that I was taking at the community college, the one that I moaned and groaned every week about going to, yielded me an "A". So, while I was planning a celebratory evening-out, the phone rang informing us that Donna's mom, while on vacation in Florida, suffered a breathing dilemma that landed her in the ICU. Because she suffers from congestive heart failure, she had to be put on life-support.

The ebb and the flow of the day-to-day. All of the dramas that get played out in front of us as we march to the beat of our drummer. Being a slightly pessimistic person, I naturally assume that something bad will happen almost immediately after something good happens. After all, when you've suffered through things like "The Drive" and "The Fumble", one does tend to side on the "Oh, no..." side of the equation. But, intuitively, I know that the way that the drama unfolds is so much more complex than that. Or is it?

I've been reading several books by Brad Warner lately. Interestingly, Brad is an Akron, Ohio native, a former punk-band member, and is now a Zen priest. His book "Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies, and the Truth about Reality" was a wake-up call for me. Or, at least, it prompted me to not hit the snooze button. I've always been a fan of Zen, eastern spirituality, and mysticism, and the title of the book sounded cool. After visiting his blog, I knew I had to read the book. What I liked about it, similar to what I find so fascinating and so difficult about Zen, is this concept of "living in the now". I'm simplifying an entire religion (although Brad would be quick to point out that Zen is not a religion) but these concepts that we have such as "good" and "bad", and "this" and "that", and the things and meanings that we attach to them, are very foreign to Zen. I like to think that I can somehow manipulate what has happened in the past, and that if I "hope" hard enough or pray hard enough, that I will be able to control my future. What transpires, normally, is that I completely lose focus on the present.

"S*it happens". That's a pretty pricey piece of profundity right there. What are the meanings behind the ebb and flow of the day-to-day. I'm starting to think that I really haven't a clue. Instead of experiencing them fully, I'm wasting alot of valuable time trying to "figure them out". I have no idea why some Program Director chooses me over someone else. The same way that I have no idea why this happened to Donna's mom...on vacation! That thunderstorm with the quarter-sized hail is going to come, whether I think I can stop it or not. The same as victories and defeats. They're coming, and I'm powerless against them.

So, as I write this, we just found out that they took Donna's mother off of life-support. She's conscious and giving the "thumb's up" sign when asked questions. So, I think a celebration is in order, regardless of who is switching formats tomorrow and changing the voice-guy. Maybe I can get Donna to make that noodle-casserole-thingy-stuff again, huh!


* Why not grab your favorite beverage, cop a squat, and groove to some DEMOS at www.mattmultimedia.com

No comments: